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divorced's Journal

History

30th April 2003

2:50pm: drink water until you bust
The Hipster Intellecticus: call himself what he will (beatnik, philosophy major, liberal arts student), he's still hip and he still digs on Kerouac.
You're the Hipster Intellecticus. Call yourself
what you will (beatnik, philosophy major,
liberal arts student), you're still hip and you
still dig Kerouac.


What Kind of Hipster Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla



Couple things to boost me up and confuse me to the max.
But before those notes...I MISS PETE AND PETE. If I ran the world, the only shows that would exist (among others that I am bound to forget) would be Pete and Pete, Simpson's, Law and Order SVU (though it freaks me out), Sensacionalismo, Betty la Fea, CMC, and umm...Freaks and Geeks...I am sure there is more. Hit this comment page up with your choices.

Now for the notes:
I fell asleep at around 6 p.m. and woke up the next morning. I felt ill and my body was shaking.
But I have two little happy notes:
1. It is a secret..shhhh.
2. I will shout this one to the world: I thought that I would never hear from G again but he wrote me once I threatened him with the loss of his gift, which I now think I must make a new version of. Plus, he gave me his address. Major mail stalking now yo.

Palabra.
10:04pm: the quiz set me to purgatory because I was too good for anywhere else.
I watched the Bachelor for my mum.
She is at Annie Lennox right now, rocking out.

But I do love when the host says "ladies" and "the ladies"

It is beyond wonderful.
I also love seeing the new and colorful uses of foundation that the women have discovered.
eek.
ick.


I like you I like you I like you.

I sent G a care box with a cap gun and some army guy gummies.

I like you I like you I like you.
10:46pm: my playground love
I am always surprised by people. It seems the things you think about others are often times what they think of you. I am also always surprised to see what I seem like to people. Today my English teacher told me that she could never imagine me tiptoeing anywhere. That I had this outrageous aura that demanded attention. I suppose it seems such, because I try to be out with it in order to connect as much as possible in the short amount of time I have. I am sorry that no one can see my silent dance. I always thought that I passed by unnoticed.
Another thing.
I love myself.
Not in a "look at me" sort of way. But in a, "I do not need you to look at me, I can see myself" way.
If that makes any sense.
I know my flaws, but they never plague me.
If I come off insecure with love. That is because I have never been in a relationship and everything is new to me. Jessie and I were talking about relationships. I have not been in one because I have not let one progress enough to get past the "ick" stage...the one where you wonder if you really want it. Not because of some flaw. I am waiting. I am a waiter. I love to wait. But I do not need validation from men. I have not suffered from my lack of a father figure. I do not live in distrust. I just have no time to grow up in that area. Attention from boys just puts me on cloud nine. (even if I do not return it). But, when it is false...for whatever reason...I do question a lot of things; especially how I put myself forth to the world. I apologize to you my friends, if I tricked you in any way. I enjoy you. But I do not need you. I love you. But I do not depend on your love to live. If I did. I would not be alive. Sleep.
Current Mood: surprised
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