April 28th, 2003

This charming man.

For the first time I have be split in two.
One part wanting to die, truly wanting to die.
And the other, knowing how pathetic the first is.


I suppose my existence has been a joke. I am just a below average person with gifts in bull shit.

die die die die die die die die die

I must be so stupid. I can not believe that this happened. I can not breathe, I can not feel, my mind does not understand why my eyes are wet. What will become of my life? Where will I go? Will I work? Will I stay here, in this place forever? Forever. I want to go back to sleep and pretend that this never happened. Now I am being pushed away yet again. Removable. Insane. Average. Death.