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divorced's Journal

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22nd February 2003

4:15pm: a long way down from rock bottom
I just realized that they have been back from TX for awhile. They are not out anymore. They have been back since the last letter I sent them. By them I do not mean plural. I am very sad and disappointed right now. I really do not understand how I keep messing things up. I get silence from Jen and now from the "them" I care so much about. I guess this is when you let go and drop all the ideas you had. Those times I created, the connections I suppose were fake. I hate it when things end up like this. I just can not handle things like this when things are already going down from the bottom.
8:17pm: we have...where you can sleep tonight
I brought you something close to me,
Left for something you see though you're here.
You haunt my dreams
There's nothing to do but believe,
Just Believe.
Just Breathe.
Another day, just believe,
Another day, just breathe.
I'm used to it by now.
Just breathe.
Just breathe.
Lying in my bed,
Another day, staring at the ceiling.
Just breathe. Another day.

-telepopmusik, edited for my own reasons
Current Mood: scared
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