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divorced's Journal

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7th October 2002

6:34am: I don't want to go, I don't want to go.
It is too early to be up. I worked eight hour days on my toes, only getting a combined 10 hours of sleep, for the whole weekend. So ick, I am super tired. I have to take the test I missed today, I wish I could miss school again. That would be so nice. That would be so grand. I wish I did not have to go, I enjoy the learning, yet they do not truly teach. I guess I just do not like the classes I have today. I find that I like science Class, but not the work or the testing...you know? Well all I know is "there were rumors, he was into field hockey players, there were rumors" no all I know is that I need more sleep.


I had a stupid dream last night, no help to my current situation.


I am waiting for my new default pictures...waiting...waiting. They need to be sent separately, as to not be considered "corrupt"
We shall see.
7:17am: Now, I am in class...sunglasses, hot ass.
I think of when I will get the car, and I realize that I am here, in this place, for a really long time...ah.
Ketama is leaving day after today.
For France.
With her honey.
And she is going to be there a long while.
That is really sad.
It makes me want to cry.
I love Ketama the Mama.
The only good thing to come of this...
except for the party last night with those fig/goat cheese/pecan things...
is that I get to go to France this Spring Break I think.
Wow...that is great.
In Spring, I might be able to get a round trip ticket for less than 300 dollars.
That would be really great.
They are going to like where Julian's family lives...
some little island-ish town/village.
But, I know my mom and I are going to Boston too, so I am not sure when and where I will go.
I am really tired.
But I have cool sun glasses.
Spin it.
Yeah.
5:36pm: I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you...not.
Why do the petals run out.
Why does the sun never go down.
You move out I step in.
Chess I say, this is chess.
I check you.
You are my mate.
Let me take you.
Take you out of this place.
Your mother's house.
Let me drive you around in my body.
Go. Red light.
Let's pinch, the fog is coming around.
It will wash you over again.
Make you young, as my dilating orbs see you.
Emptiness.
My heart is full.
Your cuts in my arm.
Your hands upon my spine.
Your lips on my eyes.
Your teeth in my ear.
Current Mood: sore
10:22pm: I am sick of the words to control me.
I am a free bird.
You all try to cage me up.
Can't you see that you are killing me?
Can't you see that the numbers, the grades, the ages, they mean nothing to me?
Can't you see that what you are saying means nothing?
You tell me I can not hang out with him?
Fuck you.
I can and will hang out with whomever I choose, whenever I choose, I am no child.
If I had to, I could live on my own.
If I had to, I could run out of your life forever.
Don't you even try to fucking cage me up.
I am a bird.
And I am going to fly.
Right out your fucking window.
Watch the glass, I will push it into your eyes.
Mi amor es por mi madre.
Current Mood: pissed off
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