September 13th, 2002

**.we're chained.**

You know I ain't had much to live for--VF.

Should I stay or should I go?
I do not know about tonight. I know I am going to go tomorrow night, but I do not know if I should drop by tonight as well. Rosie and I might hang out, depending on if she calls me. I know some folk will be there tonight that I wont want to see. I first met Joseph at a TB show, and yeah. I do not want to go back to swooning over him, he is not so nice. But you know what? I am so pissed! Everyone is coupling well and I am left in the dust. It is sick. I feel like I worked through the area and came out high and dry.

Plus in class today Sebastian said a choice sentence from on the wall, to shock me, "How far do you want to go"...looking at me with his squinty eyes. I almost leapt out of my seat. I am so amorous but more so wanting a relationship. But I just can not commit when I get to one and I mess it up. It will work when I find the one. But when? Rosie estimates that definitely within 6 mnths. I will meet a love. I hope so. It seems so long.

"I need someone, a person to talk to, could it be you?...Darling this is it"--VF.

"They'll hurt me bad...they do it all the time."--VF.

So who will be there tonight so I can weigh the choices?
I think I will ride my bike over, depending, to say hi.
Last big show I missed had braces-sass the chronic-rock climb boy there.
Yeah yeah DJ M you know what I am talking about.

Five for my loneliness.

Who wants to fall in love with me? Let's drop the dramas, the stress, the story, the waste...let's just fall.
I am sending this into the world of nothing, a machine might respond, but somewhere...he will hear me and he will fall.
  • Current Music
    clash, violent femmes, and pixies (mix tape)

I got a broken face.

Where is body? Oh my bones, oh my bones.
Somebody got hurt.

Screw heart, screw pain, screw getting back up again.

I'm all lost in the supermarket, I can no longer shop happily
I came in here for a special offer, guaranteed personality.
Who says we can not all just breathe?

(three cheers for random "emo" babble)