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divorced's Journal


30th August 2002

4:54pm: What kind of better?
There is only love now. The night of death was truly only death of music.
Good times.

Got to go Yoga.
I will be back, in a whole new red and wet way.

I am going to SR tomorrow for a day or so. Someone call my house tonight to hang out with me tomorrow or the night of.
Current Mood: numb
8:53pm: my back is very soft. let's see.
I realized a couple things about livejournal just now. One is that I write in it too often, the other is that my last entry made the one about Bowie disappear. Oh well.

Som and Nina think I seem like a poet. How lovely. Thank you my children.
I called Nina in Boston today, her setup seems really cool. She gets to be with a lot of ethnically diverse people.

Have you ever sat and watched a drama, involving you, be created? I do not know a set of folk and with them I seem to be in some drama. Now, there are those I do not know who dislike me and think I seek their love. Strange. I worry sometimes that I am going to be shot down while walking around in Santa Rosa.

The yoga was wonderful. I have never been to a class. This one is power yoga and they make the room about 90 degrees. So I was rather moist. But, I do feel so much calmer. I think all the oming helped my spirit.

Today, while at the death of K-mart, I bought the September issue of Vogue. Oh my obsession with fashion is getting a little crazy. I recognize designers now. It is very spooky. But anyway, Marc Jacobs new photo of his fall coat...it is rather disturbing to me. I mean, the photography is great ( a sort of simple, black and white, attempt at a polaroid setup look) but the scene is bad. It is this woman, she does peak a boo to her baby but she flashes it instead. It just is too creepy to be cynically enjoyed.

At least I have found a way to combine my passions. Fashion photography. What a simple answer to a question that bugged me for so long. I know what I want to do in some respects.

This does mean I wont go to Berkeley, which I had planned on for most of my college dreaming years. I will visit the East Coast to find myself a nice little art school close to the city.

Oh how I despise drama, but soon I will be in school and all the "scene" will fade away and P-town with all of its ghetto mamas and cow-folk will take over. I like how simple it is here, even though my SR posse think Petaluma is full of zombies.
9:08pm: PS
I can not like someone that I do not know.
So everyone can breathe and release the grasp on the knife aimed for my heart.
Oh how jealousy poisons the mind and the heart, don't you agree children?
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