August 23rd, 2002

ooo. Though well-known...should I stay or should I go is a sexy song...listen and breathe deep.

If you say that you are mine.
I'll be here until the end of time.

So want to hear something funny?
I feel like a Frank.

I mean so the boy who would not eat the techni-color bear...I think...I know...he likes me. I just ahhhhhhhh. I do not like him. I mean he is cute and nice and all the shit, but I am not really attracted to him. Plus, I always thought I wanted a relationship and the closer I get to one the more I do NOT want one. Keep those things away from MEMMMEEE!!! I just ahhhh. How do I make him back into my little friend? Not ahh. I do not want to hurt him but I just do not like him, ever though I should.

I am Frank! ahhh.

So yeah. I need help. How do you make someone see you do not like them without hurting them? I do not want the weird thing. I am such a horrible person. All along I whine about wanting a beau. Then I meet someone who likes me and I really want to back off. "straight to hell boy"

But it is not that I do not want one. I just have not met anyone I find up to my ideals for a relationship. And yeah. I see no point in going about it if I wont want them as a beau. "It ain't Co Co Cola, it's rice"

I just do not want him at all.

I do not know what to do. "Don't push us when we're hot"

someone should help me here.

ick ick ick and poo ick.

I was thinking about Grant last night...and he is someone I would date. If only he could stop being such a rock star.

My mom just drove by and dropped off a bagel and a soy chai. Rock the mama action.

I keep seeing new beauties. So I do not want to be down with a beau, especially one I do not really like that way.

This means I am one of those sick little girls who make boys like them and lead them on. oh no.

it is all ok. I am fine. everything is under control.

I think after I hold their hands and see that I would never want anything more, I freak. No more little one. No more.
  • Current Music
    Clash, Story of the Clash, Radio Clash

magnificent 777777777!

ring ring seven am.

I must say...The Clash is sickly and wonderful.

I love the early punk, then the brit dance with chimes and all that good stuff.

I broke my tape out this morning due to this mad crazy page.

So Rachel made me want to post my sched thing it comes, try not to pee your pants as did I.

AP Art
AP History
Honors Spanish 4
Honors English
Honors Chem

Let's burn out together, then we can
say we are smokers.
  • Current Music
    THE CLASH>>>MAG. 7

last freaking entry of today

a long time ago Kaila went into the scary world of moc.
a long time ago Kaila wrote to a couple boys she fancied.

they all wrote back, nothing came of it.

then today, we found an email from one.
he looks like freaking ziggy stardust.
we have so much in common as far as I can see.
even though I do not know him, the fact that he is far away is making me sure of where I want to move. I know what I want to do with my life, and where I want to go to school (state wise). I know what type of guy I want (by the way he fits the measure). I know what I want to wear, drink, eat, how I want to dance...the music that moves me.

I know who I am.
It is so amazingly scary I think I will pass out.

So in sooner than 2 years, Kaila will move to the big apple.
Taking them by storm by blending in with the crazy folk.
Wearing crazy colors and wild hair, dancing on my bed to Siouxsie.
Drinking my soy chai.
Going to art school of some type for my camera fetish.
and maybe, if fate rules, dancing in the dirty gutters of the ny with a kid who looks like bowie and writes like Colin.

Oh if only my life would work out this way.
Make me happy.

I am so excited for my little sexy dream.

Pixies. spin it yeah.
  • Current Music
    siouxsie and the banshees