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divorced's Journal

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18th August 2002

5:38pm: Lull the baby back to sleep, oh dear look what you've done.
Claire told me how hot Bo Bo was today at work. People keep saying that. But that is not his allure to me, it is the fact that he is so nice. He treats me how someone should treat the person they like. Yes he is pretty, but that is beside the point.






Even though I am days early: HAPPY FREAKING 18TH BIRTHDAY DJ MITSUBISHI!!!!!!!
You are my best guy friend in the world and you mean a lot to me. I treasure you and your dj style. You want ride?





I have decided that my winter romance will be done to the music of Elliot Smith with a combination of his "XO" and "Kill rock stars" albums. I had figured it would have been with someone of my past because we both looked good in beanie hats, but now I suppose it must be someone new. Maybe it will be you.
Current Mood: listless
9:20pm: that is how they found me, in the river bed. Broken and licked. Was it your tongue or his?
So first things first.


I was really bored and the phone rang.
While getting up to answer it, I hoped it was him aloud. I said his name many times up until I picked up the phone. And. It was him. I was soo happy. He was like "hi" and...I suppose he knew it was me because he did not ask for me by name. And I was just so smiling, "HI!!" I felt like a little girl, like when I saw Bo Bo at the mall. It is this innocent joy. A idea of love when you were only 5. Did I ever tell you that I liked boys from birth. I mean really liked them. I wanted to kiss them and yeah. Not and yeah. But I mean I was crazy. I think I was made to like boys. It is a curse and a gift I guess. I have no idea how it is a gift, but I know that someday I will know.


Anyway back to my girlie joy. So we talked for a long time, too long. It got to the point where he said he had to sleep. Too late I suppose. But I loved talking to him and doing the stupid thing I do where I work around something I really want to say by speaking in riddles and being annoying. I did work into the conversation that he was a good catch. What I wanted in a relationship, and also had him tell me about you know what. I just wanted to hear him say it. I did believe you though autumn, about him not ever...yeah. Crap, this mask is falling off my face. AHHHH!!!



Anyway, so we made plans to go get coloring books and food after the market on Wens. I am really happy. I like meeting new people and getting to know them. Nothing about him is wrong, but there are flaws in where it wont go. So now I am ok. I was worried at how well it worked out. The most healthy "relationship" I was almost in was with bread-wanting boy. Our one flaw was his age and mine. So it goes.


So I am going to go and sleep because I am tired and this mask is falling off and yeah.




But XOXO to you all. Let us wish that while he sleeps, (he who did not eat the techni-color bear) becomes overly willing to keep a girlfriend in the months to come, and has the sudden urge to get to know Simone so she can be that girl. Oh har har. I am only kidding, I like just being his friend and getting to know him while hinting that I adore his little pants.


ps. this is really flinging sexy music (cocteau twins) and I can not control myself. I wish I had no morals. No, I am kidding. I am happy like this. I suppose.
Current Mood: giddy
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