July 23rd, 2002

I'll get over you.

Did I ever tell you about the time I was talking to a random MOC boy and we had this experience. Like we had known each other and been in love in a past life? He felt surreal and I felt dizzy. It was amazing yet horribly sad.

Today I went to Baskin Robbins with my brother and the boy working there obviously liked me. We left to go get money. We came back, he was angry that we had left. He said to me, "I do not know if it is just me but it is like...love at first sight" I thought he was kidding. I was talking to the other boy that worked there and the first one was like " What is it about him that makes him more desirable than me" and he was all pouty and upset the whole time. It was so surreal. He was complimenting me...and said I was out of his league but that blah blah, basically that he fell in love with me and that I was the only person he has ever said that to. And he gave my brother money from the tip jar so we got more ice-cream. But he was mad at me for some reason and told me that he hoped my ice cream would fall on the floor. He is too old, and will be a student teacher at my school next year. That is so strange. He is a 23 year old man who looks 17 and works at Baskin Robbins. I told him we would have lunch at school. I felt bad. He made me so depressed. He said all the things I would want to hear, and that is what I want. That type of fate, like how I always saw bread wanting boy. I need that, some book romance. That is why I can not just blah blah hang out...or whatnot. I need that spark. I really feel depressed now though, I can not handle that anymore.

what if I told you I was in love with you.

want me to fall for you? Just disappear for awhile. That way I can romanticize everything about you and fall head over converse.

Just kill me why don't you, I just can not breathe anymore.

Let's sneak into their radios.

Hey, Frank, I want to go to the fair with you. I have a little sweater you might like to touch, and little hand you might want to hold, and a heart you can take as you please. Kiss me, I am yours...do not waste your time crying over any others. Here.

"well the fuse blew, and the sparks flew, got a short fuse for this kind of bull shit. and all I want to do is get in a balloon and look down on the burning remnants...code red, never sin in space with you again..." Where is our hell fire? When will the gloom melt and bloom? I miss you.
  • Current Music
    sin in space

guess what?

I have suchhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh a huge crush on Big Pete on pete and pete. I think I am in love.

I just watched the one where big Pete becomes a bus driver and dates Selma Blair, and he can spell 27 words when scrambling her name. And Stu acts crazy. I love it I love it.

sick sad world

my brother attacked me.

He tried to hurt me.

I think he forgets how much I like physical pain like that, I think he forgets that I am sick and messed up in the head. Due to the fact that I have an empty heart.

I forgot how fucked up this thing is

I forgot for awhile how sick this whole livejournal community is. It is just a way for people to whine and bitch then correct other people to push themselves up. Well for me it was not like that. I could care less if other fucking "emo" kids commented on my journal. But again, it is mine. I use it as an outlet for myself. I use it because I like typing much better than writing. I use it because I like it. I do not think anyone I cared about would stoop as low as to correct my grammar, and not have the strength to leave a name to the insult. The truth is, I do not always correct my spelling, and anyway on this entry (you who corrected it know who you are) I simply copied and pasted what another friend had written. You are so sick that you correct others grammar? How pathetic. I feel very sorry for you.

But obviously you got a rise out of me so good job. And by the way, stay out of my journal from now on...I do not like people like you and would like it if you did not read my personal thoughts.


Justin Guarini of American Idol is my lover.

He has this Basquiat (spelling?) appeal to him...and lord knows I love those H-ed out kids that paint.