June 20th, 2002

consider her cheating now

Oh oh oh,

So...this place is where I sit, in this place I sit, sit in amorousness. Sit in longing. If only there was a pill, a sort of anti-viagra. This weather, in combination with my young hormones, is very deadly. Not only am I amorous, I also am lonely and depressed because I have to deal with the extreme coupling that starts after Spring hits. Why is it I always seem to be left out of this time, does it come when I am studying? Or what...I am so confused. Who knows. I will sit here in amorousness...with my (virgin upon my grave) margarita...and my White Stripes. Fine then, but this music is just too sensual...maybe I am thinking that. And Bread wanting boy is gone...so no one is here and close to soothe this longing. I sound skanky...har har. Oh, everyone thought that the White Stripes were bro and sis and just creepy because they kissed, but really Meg is his ex-wife. This is why they kiss. No bro and sis action. Sorry kids. Only in gernville.
  • Current Music
    White Stripes

kill me with shame, let me sleep again, oh kill me.

I am sad.
I am lonely.
I feel unwanted.
Why is it that no one wants me? I think I am relatively pretty. But, it seems only once every 15 years does anyone find me attractive enough to pursue or even date...and then I can not date them. What a pickle. I mean, is there something about me? I think I make boys too comfortable, like an old shoe. I do not use my inner powers, that would scare them. I would rather have them be afraid of me because I am just so amazing then to have them to think of me of someone that will always be there if they get super bored. You know?

Mayo and Juliet are together now, and they are passively mean to me....rather annoying and not good for a girl like me. In this depressed state, I need to have people be nice to me.

How is it that my music, VT, is so loud yet no one who passes looks up to my window? I am the lady of shallot.

How is it that my head doctor said she would call and make another appointment but never has? She is such a Marin kid, totally flighty and self-involved. She needs a shrink.

I am so excited for tomorrow night, I think I will get ill. I am so excited. I miss Logan, I have not seen him for awhile....I miss J-boz...he sings like Jeff Buckley. It is true Pete, they sound the same...but then Jeff goes deeper and tribal...and Judah stays high and flemmy. You know?

The bright lights stink of all the money....call me when you're broken hearted, every ones turning on you.

I think Bo Bo is cute, not extremely interesting or interested (in me that is)...but nice and pretty. Maybe that is what I need, nice and someone I would be allowed to date (in theory)...or maybe Matt is right...maybe I need to be alone and just be with God and yeah...get over things...clear my head.

It is hard to do that when people choose to plague me with bitch-ness....seriously. Way to be mean guys. Way to make me into a c-emo (suicidal emo).