17th June 2002
Well, first of all. I was listening to the Cure at night when I wrote this letter for bread-wanting boy. It is silly really, the way I talk it is as if he means more to me than just being there and interesting. You know? It is all about how much I miss him and what I miss about him. That is rather stupid. It is all in the moment. I need to find some one that I am not only allowed to be with, but also that I miss all of the time, not just when I am depressed and listening to the Cure. Like how I am with Jane, or how I was with Joseph...just not with Joseph. :
I really hope his letter to me was along those lines, because I did not read it prior to my letter and I do not want to seem way into some one I am not way into. Gosh, I feel ill. My mother is dropping it by when she comes to Santa Rosa.
On a new note, you know where I just came from that is rather sad? The mall. Now, the deal with the mall is...if you live in Santa Rosa and you go there, it is okay because that is only because you are bored and have nothing to do. Or, if you work there, or if you go there because you need to get something (like in Jane's case) but if you go out of your way to get there for just a "hang-out"...sad. I mean it sucks the life out of you. I did, however...get to see my Samba's...that were on sale. I do not think my dad can get them for me though. But, tomorrow he is getting me this hoodie from...save yourself...the gap. I like the way the little children sew my clothes...they do a fine job. Plus, I need a hoodie...and that is one thing I can not get at Saks.
I need no explanation, I saw a lot of kids there. The "trouble" posse. They are cute, and snobby...faboo. Yeah, I like "King-Glazed"...not really...just in the moment.
Truly, I am in a transition and I do not like anyone right now. It is weird being alone.
Well, I am always alone but I mean with no one to crave. Odd...but healthy and okay.
So Wednesday I am going to that market thing with Ashley and Ian and BLT and Morgan I think...before the show because they can drive me. That is good. So I may see you, pete, there.
While I was thinking I accepted Dashboard...it was Jimmy Eat World...which is weirder. I actually like their other music...besides "The Middle" I like their old emo songs. "O O O O." :
"Got to have it, really need it to get by...sugar high." :
"Kiss me hard, because it will be the last time I let you"--D.C.
I think I might watch the Harry Potter DVD tonight.
I think, Jane, that he will call...and he will come on Wednesday...do not worry.
What kind of entry is this?