June 3rd, 2002


My Mormon name is Kaila Chinchilla Zest!

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<p>My Mormon name is <b>Kaila Chinchilla Zest</b>!<br \><a href="http://rumandmonkey.com/widgets/toys/mormon/">What's yours?</a></p>

So, my profesora loved my paper...the one I spoke of...the "satire"...she now adores my poetic self...losing herself in my words...but yeah it is easy to lose yourself in my woes...the things that plague my heart would rub off on the happiest person.

I got an A I think...15 or something...who knows.

Joseph...he is always going to be in my heart...I will always love him. So, even if he is with Mary or far away, he will always be a part of my life. That is what kind of love I have for him. It was lust that drew me to him, but it is my soul that keeps me stuck...we are kismet...even if in life we do not mesh...but we do...our souls are made for each other. If only it had happened correctly, without all of these technicalities. If only we had fallen in love at the same time. I mean, it would all be so easy. If only his heart was clean and not tied down by her...if only. But, that is what I thought meant we were not meant to be...because it did not work and he loved Mary...but God persists to me..."you are made to love him"...maybe that is so: maybe I am made to love him but he is not made to love me. What then? I am just forever confused and forever in love.

Oh, I made a boo boo last entry...I meshed stories and names...so the clear up has been made: Joseph is joseph. He is just that...crazy to worry you maroo...my words must have been stress full with the name mixing...what is going on with them (the real them I mean...) I wonder. Who knows...I try to avoid people I know's stress because I have enough on my own.

I am a liar.
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