May 30th, 2002

what did I say?

Did I tell you that I am broken?

I am.

Did I tell you that Joseph and Mary are finding each other again? Did you know I am torn between strange happiness for him and his heart and torment for my own. Actually, did you know that I do not care anymore...I just wanted him badly and it will take time to forget. Did you know that all boys I have almost "things/relationships" with fall in love, isn't that funny. Oh my, how funny. Funny in a sick, cruel, weird way.

I just finished Colin's mix tape...I think that I am mix tape took me about 2 hours to make a 90 min tape. Is that normal? I think not. Oh, how I love God. He is the only one in my life that is stable...the same...right.

I found that with Joseph, I screamed about my love for God, screamed silently about my love for him, but ignored the fact that it was not any of those was not meant. It just wasn't.

But, someday it will be, someone will be for me, someone I will wait for. Is it you? Come to me, dance for me, kiss me.
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