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divorced's Journal

History

27th January 2002

7:44pm: the cure cures all
HAVE I EVER TOLD YOU I WANTED TO BE LOVED LIKE A LOVE SONG. NOT A CORNY ONE BY CELINE DION, A SAD ONE. A TORMENT. SHOW ME SHOW ME SHOW ME HOW YOU DO THAT TRICK. THAT ONE THAT MAKES ME SCREAM....ILL RUN AWAY WITH YOU, ILL RUN AWAY WITH YOU. LET ME RUN AWAY WITH YOU. LET ME LOVE YOU LIKE A SONG, LET ME KISS YOU LIKE A DREAM. LET US TAKE THIS TRAIN, THAT ONE THAT CAME AT MIDNGIHT, YOU SOFT AND LONELY LOST AND LONELY. I AM SOFT, LONELY, LOST....YEAH. I THINK THIS MEANS THAT YOU CURE UNHAPPINESS WITH SORROW. I PUSHED TOO HARD, I WANTED TO HELP PEOPLE BY DOING IT FOR THEM. I DID IT FOR YOU. IT WAS ALWAYS FOR ALL OF YOU. NOW, I LIVE IT FOR ME. NO MORE YOU, JUST FOR ME.WATCH ME SPIN IT. I'VE GOT MY FEET IN THE AIR AND MY HEAD ON THE GROUND. WATCH ME SPIN IT. SINCE YOU WERE A LITTLE BOY YOU TOOK YOU SADNESS AND YOU TOOK AWAY MY JOY, CAN YOU TELL ME THEIR STORIES WITHOUT ASKING ME THEIR TALES? I CAN LET YOU SING TO ME ANYMORE, YOUR TUNES DROWN THEM OUT. THEY ARE REAL, WE ARE NOT. WE FLOAT. HAVE YOU EVER FELT LIKE YOU WERE FLOATING....AND NO ONE WOULD NOTICE IF YOU DISAPPEARED. WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO DO A THING LIKE THAT? CHOOSE LIFE? WHY INDEED. I CHOSE IT, I STILL DO, MY CHOICE. I CHOOSE THE SUN, I CHOOSE THE MOON, MY SUNNY SPOT, MY TEARS FOR THE THINGS I CHOSE TO LOVE. I CHOSE IT ALL WHEN I TOOK MY FIRST BREATH. I STILL CHOOSE IT BUT NOT YOU. I CHOOSE FOR IT TO BE ME. I KIND OF FEEL, SOMETIMES, THAT I AM AUTISTIC. JUST BECAUSE, SINCE I WAS A CHILD, I ALWAYS WAS IN MY OWN WORLD. ONE NO ONE COULD BE IN, REALLY. BUT, I DO CONNECT. I LET PEOPLE IN A LITTLE, I FEEL. I FEEL SO MUCH. AND WHEN I AM IN MY WORLD, I AM NOT LONELY.I CAN NOT FEAR DISAPPOINTING THOSE I DO NOT KNOW. HOW DO PEOPLE TRY TO HURT THOSE THEY NEVER MEET. I DONT KNOW. WHY IS THERE SO MUCH HATE. I CANT HATE. I CAN NOT EVEN HATE THOSE MOST HATEABLE, HITLER, KKK, EVIL PEOPLE. I DONT HATE THEM, I DO NOT KNOW THEM. AM I LIBERAL? WHAT AM I? WHAT THE FUCK AM I. I TRY SO HARD TO LET YOU IN, I JUST DONT WANT YOU TO MOVE MY FUCKIN STUFF. DONT FUCK UP MY WORLD WITH YOUR OWN OTTOMONS AND COASTERS. I LIKE MY TABLE FOOT REST AND MY WATER RINGS. SO WHEN I LET YOU ALL IN, DONT MOVE IT ALL AROUND, I DONT HAVE TIME TO PUT IT BACK. DO NOT MAKE ME PUT IT BACK. CAN I OFFER YOU MILK? ILL TAKE NONE.
Current Mood: sleepy
8:16pm: mmememmeememem
how i want to be seen:
strange girl...


such a strange girl i really dont understand...

your such a strange girl ide like to shake you around...
upside down.....



such such a such a
strange girl the way you look like you do..
such a strange girl i want to be with you

i think im falling

i think im falling in

i think im falling in love with you
with you


your such a stranananannannanananannananannanananananange girl
such a strrrrrraaange girl


i want to be with you.....
........................................


i want to be a piano song.
i want to be a tear
i want to be longed for
to be remembered
to be sot after

fuck it.
i want to be sung about.
in a love song
years ago
i want to be a cure song
i want to be your song.

sing me.
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